Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Plabnox Health Care


Plabnox Health Care, a safe and affordable alternative to traditional HMOs, integrates radical research and care. Drs. Swinnard and Perofovich helm the infirmary, where Plabnox medical professionals conduct daily research in the areas of infectious diseases and biohazards alongside routine patient treatment. Also, Plabnox doctors are now available for consultation over gmail's chat function (gchat). To gain an understanding of the expert care we provide, please read the transcript below of a recent doctor-patient gchat consultation at Plabnox Health Care:

Dr. Perofovich: What seems to be the problem?

Patient: I slept fitfully in states of panic last night. I woke up with heart racing, and a pit in my abdomen. I’m worried that I was exposed to infected spores from a mouse dropping.

Dr. Perofovich: It could be the junta virus.

Patient: Junta or hanta?

Dr. Perofovich: Hard to say at this point—I’ll have to consult with Dr. Swinnard, our contagion expert. She'll be able to clarify the nuances between the judicial and hemorrhagic fevers in the early stages of infection. I’m going to send you home for now, but I’ll take a tissue sample if you start to bleed out or an ad hoc judicial tribunal develops. If you notice signs of either—the formation of boils or a coup d’├ętat—call the receptionist.

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