Plabnox Cures's Hospitality Tips: Couch-Aged Cheese

Couch-aged cheese is a a pungent addition to any soirée.

Sprinkling Method

Do ahead: Simply sprinkle several ounces of cheese rinds onto your couch at least one week before the guests arrive. Make sure the curds roll into the dark crevices and along the seams. At these sites the cheese-aging enzymes (dust, hair, crumbs, oils) are most concentrated. Over the course of several movie-watching sessions-- don't be afraid to spread out for hours at a time over the areas laden with fromage, for such an air blockage will create a moist, dank space in which the morsels will thrive-- the cheese will acquire an persistent, wild, gamy aroma that permeates the party space, infiltrates the nostrils of your guests, and sparks lively conversation about cheese and other odor-producing agents.

Below: A couch-aged Danish Blue in the pre-saran wrap disintegration stage. This biodynamic method, while more organic than the aforementioned sprinkling technique, is time-intensive and requires months of cultivation.