Thursday, March 12, 2009

Plabnox EpiCures

Plabnox Cures recently held a business dinner at E.R.A., an Ethiopian restaurant and bar in Philadelphia’s Fairmount neighborhood. Attendees included Dr. Prosperina Swinnard, co-CEO; and Harriett Griswold, personal maid.

Below: An aerial view of E.R.A.

After announcing to the bartender-waiter-host, “We’re here for Ethiopian food,” the Plabnox Cures delegation took seats at the bar (the sole seating option in the otherwise empty establishment) and admired the interior architecture of E.R.A., which provides one of the finest extant examples of the Moose Club aesthetic. The walls are paneled entirely in a dark, polished wood, upon which mysterious plastic numbers have been affixed: 2, 17, and so on; an unadorned rectangular bar equipped with a PA system occupies eighty percent of the restaurant floor; various white wires dangle from the ceiling and a few wires stapled to the walls accentuate the vertical wood panels.

The bartender took drink requests after the doctors stirred up the staff with an all-vegetables order for three. E.R.A. has a pay-as-you-go policy, so when Dr. Perofovich and Harriett ordered a cocktail and a beer, they were forced to surrender payment immediately. Dr. Swinnard requested a water, which arrived in a pint glass*.

While waiting for the food to arrive, the handsome TouchTunes jukebox caught the eyes of the doctors. They moseyed over to examine the song selections, and as they were debating whether to make a musical investment, the proprietor entered and plugged his iPod into the speaker system. The playlist, a combination of funk and mountain music, set the tone for his personal anecdote concerning an apparently recently attended AA meeting. As the flesh on his face shone and his gray hair bristled with ire, the proprietor growled at the bartender, “I just came from AA, and there was a real asshole there that I wanted to punch.” Soon afterwards, the proprietor and the bartender settled in to watch a baseball game on the TV located at the opposite end of the room, approximately 75 feet away from the doctors and Harriett, where they remained until and as the Plabnox patrons left.

*During the meal, Harriett ordered a water, which came in a highball glass, and later, when Dr. Perofovich ordered a water, it appeared in a cordial glass.

Above: The signature high-gloss varnish of the Moose Club design movement.

Above: It was standing room only at the bar.

Above: Diners at E.R.A. will encounter a whimsical take on portion sizing.

Above: A state-of-the-art combination bar and PA system is the crown jewel of E.R.A.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Doctors’ Last Meals

The doctors recently attended a soirée at which several parlor games were played. One game involved asking participants, “If you could plan your last meal, of what would it consist?” We have reproduced the doctors' replies below.

Dr. Swinnard’s Menu

Selosse Champagne
Ethiopian sambusa
Foie gras
Oysters on the half shell
Harriett’s Nachos

Loire Muscadet
Brown rice sushi and sashimi
Jean-Paul Brun Beaujolais
Tenderloin au poivre, medium rare
Brie mashed potatoes

Cheese course
Assortment of fine French fromage, including triple crème brie and camembert
Fresh Vermont fruit – Cortland apples, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries

Late harvest Riesling
Karen’s chocolate cherry cake
Pear tarte tatin
Ginger cheesecake
Pumpkin roll
Red Velvet cake
Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting
French dark chocolate truffles
Rum cake
Homemade chocolate caramel gelato
Homemade rum raisin ice cream
Ben & Jerry’s chocolate mint cookie ice cream
Bread pudding
Sticky bun
Assortment of danishes
Strawberry Napoleon
Key lime pie
Coconut cream pie
Raspberry pie
Apple pie
Apple crisp
Blueberry buckle
Cranberry plum pudding with hard sauce
Cherry almond clafouti
Yellow cake with chocolate frosting
Chocolate glazed doughnut
Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut
Molasses crinkle cookies
Reverse chocolate chip cookies
Maple cremee in the Dairy Crème’s “Dish of Dirt”
Harriet’s dark chocolate pecan pie
Apple galette
Raspberry Linzer tart
Orange-almond lace cookies
Raspberry scones

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Reviews of Plabnox

The reviews are in! Here is what top critics are saying about Plabnox Cures:

"Whereas Plab started out reviewing TV shows, films, and literature, it no longer refers to anything but itself."
-Harriett Griswold, independent brewer

"Three weeks ago, we gave Plabnox Cures a prognosis that within 10 years, it would become completely self-referential. However, self-references immediately took on an aggressive form and have spread much more rapidly than we predicted."
-Uttered in unison by Drs. and Swinnard, éminences grises

"; excess of June’s body p. 15"
-Piggy Peggy, film critic