Saturday, December 27, 2008

Plabnox Presents: Exquisite Corpse Journalism

This holiday season, retailers have noticed a dramatic upturn in customers who do their “Christmas shopping” after the actual holiday. Analysts suggest this type of customer is bad for business, as he or she strikes during the lunch hour in an attempt to distract the salesperson from his or her meal. While creating a distraction by feigning interest in merchandise, the repast customer has a sidekick steal the food vittles. As soon as the transaction is closed, consumers rush home to distribute their purchases. For some, to be generous in today’s economy means pushing Christmas back one or even two full days. Of course, the nation’s children would rather be employed than acquire food via the repast customer’s method. However, with a failing economy, they may not have a choice. More and more children have been enlisting in ragtag protest groups to stop what they consider an unfair practice. Parents scarcely seem to care. Many parents further infuriate their children by sending them into stores to steal employee’s lunches on their behalf.

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