Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Survivor: Nuclear Reactor Substation No. 512

The contestants on this season of PCP's Survivor are stationed at the exotic Nuclear Reactor Substation No. 512. This lush atomic paradise, erected upon a dust field, is immured by sheer concrete walls covered with barbed wire vegetation. However, there isn't time for the usual frivolities like nuclear bathing or barbed wire climbing as the contestants must battle for their lives after PCP deposits German Expressionist mad scientist, Dr. Frankengari, in the substation. Dr. Frankengari commences nuclear experimentation post-haste, killing some contestants, merely maiming and deforming others. Each time Frankengari smites one of the potential survivors, the voice of the host, an unnamed government agent located in the on-site Panopticon, bellows through the station's intercom system, "Atomic energy has spoken. It is time for you to be vaporized." Upon that cue, a nuclear reaction causes what remains of the cadaver to vanish in a vibrant mushroom cloud of gas. Each subsequent mushroom cloud weakens the remaining contestants, who must simultaneously dodge Frankengari's experiments while forming catty alliances, until one earns the title of "Sole Survivor of Nuclear Reactor Substation No. 512." The winner receives discounted healthcare and a collection of doom movies and nuclear holocaust films, including Armageddon and Hiroshima Mon Amour.

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