Dear Sir or Madam:
I am writing to express my bloodlust for the administrative assistant position with your company. Many months have passed since I trapped gainful employment and I feel this position will succumb to my resume like a winded quarry to a hunter’s rifle.
For your convenience, I have attached the carcasses of my prior catches to this missive and bivouacked outside of your office. Please look hard for me, for I am wholly encased in camouflage gear.
Sincerely yours,
Hesta
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